Let’s start with the question we’ve all been conditioned to ask within 30 seconds of meeting someone: “So… what do you do?”
Last year, this harmless icebreaker became my personal nightmare.
The Day My Title Vanished
There I stood in my kitchen – former Area Sales Manager of a $4M automotive parts business, reduced to debating whether to use basil or thyme in tonight’s chicken soup. My 13-person team now consisted of two toddlers and a goldfish. My quarterly reports? They’d morphed into color-coded meal planners and pediatrician appointment reminders.
The identity shift hit like a poorly-traded stock. One Thursday morning, I woke up without my armor:
Before:
✔️ Boardroom negotiator
✔️ Team motivator
✔️ Market strategist
After:
✔️ Snack negotiator (Goldfish crackers vs. apple slices)
✔️ Tiny human motivator (“Yes, dinosaurs DID brush their teeth!”)
✔️ Household operations director
“Just a housewife,” I’d mumble when asked, watching eyes glaze over like week-old Bundt cake. Social interactions became verbal minefields where “I don’t work” translated to “I’ve lost all value” in our productivity-obsessed culture.
The Hidden Curriculum of Domesticity
Here’s what nobody tells you about “not working”:
- Time Management Masters Degree
Juggling laundry cycles and toddler tantrums makes corporate deadlines feel like kindergarten crafts. - Crisis Negotiation Certification
Peace talks between warring siblings require more diplomacy than my old supplier contracts. - Advanced Multitasking
Ever breastfed while debugging a frozen laptop and mentally planning dinner? Olympic committees should medal this.
Yet society kept whispering: “But what do you ACTUALLY do?” as if raising functional humans was akin to collecting decorative seashells.
Rebuilding My Resume of Being
My breakthrough came through an unlikely source – my 4-year-old’s preschool questionnaire:
“What’s your mommy’s superpower?”
His answer: “She fixes broken things and makes the scary shadows disappear.”
That crayon-scribbled revelation became my new KPI. Slowly, I began translating domestic skills into corporate jargon:
| Home Reality | Business Translation |
|---|---|
| Household budgeting | Financial portfolio management |
| Family scheduling | Logistics coordination |
| Conflict resolution | HR mediation expertise |
The imposter syndrome didn’t vanish, but I learned to dance with it. Some days we tango through self-doubt, other days waltz past societal expectations.
The Liberation of Being “Nothing”
Here’s my current answer to “What do you do?”:
“I’m in transformation strategy – deconstructing outdated success metrics while prototyping human-centered life design.”
Watch their eyebrows lift.
The secret isn’t finding a new label, but becoming fluent in the language of your intrinsic worth. Your identity isn’t a business card – it’s the living story you rewrite daily through small, brave choices.
So next time someone reduces you to your job title, remember: Phoenixes don’t resume-build after burning – they create new skies to own.
